


Monster

by Dreamchester67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Based on a Skillet Song, Reader Insert, Song based fic, monster by skillet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 05:24:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16257551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamchester67/pseuds/Dreamchester67
Summary: Based on song lyrics- Monster by Skillet. also based off of MOC!Deanfeedback is always appreciated :)





	Monster

_The secret side of me_  
 _I never let you see_  
 _I keep it caged, but I can’t control it_  
I know I’m no good for anyone. I’m poison. There has never been, and never will be, anything good about me.  
 _So stay away from me, the beast is ugly_  
 _I feel the rage and I just can’t hold it_  
 _It’s scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls_  
 _It comes awake, and I can’t control it_  
The mark has changed me, there’s no hiding that. Everyone has noticed it, they just don’t bring it up. They don’t have to, I can see it written all over their faces. Especially (y/n). She’s so afraid of me. She acts like she isn’t worried about it, but any time we fight, any time I start to raise my voice, she starts shaking. I can’t stand her being afraid of me.  
 _Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head_  
 _Why won’t somebody come and save me from this_  
 _Make it end?_  
I know what i’ve become. I’m no better than anything I’ve hunted my entire life. Sammy thinks that I can control myself, and argues that he’ll find a cure for the mark. I don’t want to wait that long and risk me hurting anyone else around me. Sam, (y/n), Cas. I can’t see them hurt, and I sure as hell can’t live with myself if i’m the one that causes it. I can’t risk that.  
I hate what i’ve become  
 _The nightmare’s just begun_  
 _I must confess that I feel like a monster_  
 _I, I feel like a monster_  
I feel like a monster. They have no clue what I’ve done, and they would never be able to look at me the same way if they knew. All the people that I could care less that i’ve killed, i don’t even have an inkling of guilt in my body. Tell me, would any other human not care this much?  
 _My secret side I keep_  
 _Hid under lock and key_  
 _I keep it caged, but I can’t control it_  
 _‘Cause if I let him out, he’ll tear me up, break me down_  
 _Why won’t somebody come and save me from this_  
 _Make it end?_  
 _I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin_  
I’m scared of myself. I’m scared of what i'm capable of doing to other people. The thoughts i’ve had, I mean who the hell thinks about killing those closest to them? I know I wouldn’t act on it, not in my right mind. But I haven’t been in my right mind lately. At all. The first thought I have is kill, even if I know that it will ruin cases for us. Even if i’m not sure someone is dangerous, the only thing I ever see is red.   
_I must confess that I feel like a monster_  
 _I hate what i’ve become_  
 _The nightmare’s just begun_  
 _I must confess that i feel like a monster_  
 _I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin_  
 _I must confess that i feel like a monster_  
This is never going to end. Cain even said that there was no way to rid yourself of the mark, unless you transfer it. How the hell would I live with myself if i transferred it to another person? It’s a curse for Christ’s sake! I can barely handle it, and I would like to believe I have pretty good self control. Imagine this thing on another person’s arm? Yeah, not in a million years. I can’t let that happen.  
 _I, I feel like a monster_  
 _I, I feel like a monster_  
 _It’s hiding in the dark_  
 _It’s teeth are razor sharp_  
 _There’s no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart_  
 _No one can hear me scream_  
 _Maybe it’s just a dream_  
 _Maybe it’s inside of me, stop this monster_  
I have prayed on hundreds of occasions that this was all just a nightmare. Except every morning, I wake up and look down to see this thing stuck to my arm and lose all hope again. I will never be rid of this curse. I will be stuck a freak from now until the day that I die.  
Yet again, the mark is supposed to feed off of my inner emotions. Maybe i’ve been a monster all along.  
 _I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin_  
 _I must confess that i feel like a monster_  
 _I hate what i’ve become_  
 _The nightmare’s just begun_  
 _I must confess that i feel like a monster_  
 _I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin_  
 _I must confess that I feel like a monster_  
 _I gotta lose control, is something radical_  
 _I must confess that I feel like a monster_  
There’s nothing I can do to save everyone around me.  
 _I, I feel like a monster_  
There’s nothing I can do to save myself.  
 _I, I feel like a monster_  
Do I really want to save myself? Maybe this is for the best. An eternity of torture. Of hating myself. Of isolation.  
 _I, I feel like a monster_  
Do I really want to change this? Maybe I should just welcome it with open arms. Maybe then, I’ll feel a little better. I won’t have as much rage inside of me, no regrets.  
Maybe this is what I'm supposed to be.  
 ** _I feel like a monster._**


End file.
